


aligned

by transarmin



Series: Eremin Week 2019 [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transarmin/pseuds/transarmin
Summary: Eremin week day 2: Yin and Yang. How two unlikely friends are more alike than people realize.





	aligned

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't strictly speaking just about parallels but also similarities and the way armin and eren complement each other. i've always thought what makes eremin work so well is how armin and eren are so different, and yet so very similar. how there is no eren without armin and no armin without eren - like yin and yang. thank you for reading!!

Jean and Armin walk through the training grounds, the heat of the summer sun hot on their backs. The air is thick and humid, almost like a mist, and the ground beneath their feet is cracked and dry. Armin watches as a dragonfly hovers beside the fence. Its wings are a translucent blue, glowing. Sometimes Armin wishes he could grow wings and fly off somewhere that isn’t here.

“I’ve always wondered,” Jean says, drawing Armin’s attention away from the insect, “How did you become friends with Eren? You two are nothing alike.”

Armin looks up at him, head tilted to one side in curiosity. “You think so?” he asks. It’s definitely not the first time he’s heard that, but usually it was from strangers, not Jean who after two years of training together Armin considers a friend.

Jean scoffs. “Yeah. I do, and so does everyone else.”

“We’re more alike than people realize,” Armin tells him, a sigh escaping from his lips, “I suppose it’s difficult to tell from an outsider’s perspective.”

“I’ll tell you what I see,” says Jean, “I see a suicidal maniac who’s caught up in some insaneidea of getting revenge on the Titans, and a boy who has to run around picking up the pieces for him and fixing his mistakes. You’re nothing like Eren.”

Armin lets out a soft, almost sad laugh. “Sorry, Jean,” he says, “But you’re wrong. Eren is more like me than anyone else.”

::

“Why don’t you ever fight back?”

Armin looks up in surprise, tears rolling down his cheeks. The boy who spoke is peering at him from behind the wall with piercing gray-green eyes. He’s wearing a red scarf around his neck, and his dark hair seems to shine in the sunlight.

“That’s why they treat you like that,” the boy says, matter-of-fact, serious, “Do you want to keep losing forever?”

Armin averts his gaze, away from the boy’s eyes that feel like they’re burning holes straight into him. He sniffs, wipes his runny nose.

“I…” he begins, his voice meek and quiet and threatening to crack, “I’m not losing.”

“What?”

“Because… I’m not running away.”

Armin can feel those eyes on him still. When he looks up, the boy is still staring. He’s moved from his hiding spot behind the wall and Armin can see him in full now.

“Hey,” the boy says. The harshness is gone from his voice, replaced with something that Armin would guess is friendliness. “What’s your name?”

Armin just stares at him, with wide honey-brown eyes that are still glistening with tears. He knows instantly. This boy isn’t like any of the others he’s met before.

“Armin,” he says. Some of the nervousness is gone, and his hands aren’t shaking anymore. “My name is Armin Arlert.”

“That’s a nice name,” the boy says, meaning it, “I’m Eren.”

“That’s a nice name too.”

“Be my friend,” Eren says.

“What?” Armin asks, confused. No one has ever wanted to be his friend before. “Why would you want to be friends with me?”

“Because I like you,” Eren tells him, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, “Do you like me?”

Armin thinks about it for a moment. “I do.”

“So let’s be friends.”

Eren holds out his hand, an offering. After a moment of hesitation Armin tentatively accepts, letting himself be pulled up onto his feet. Eren’s grip is rather strong for a boy his age. When they start to walk down the path together, he doesn’t let go. They walk hand-in-hand like that for a while, and Eren gently swings their arms forward and back.

“Where are we going?”Armin asks.

“Anywhere,” says Eren, “Anywhere you want to." 

:: 

“Eren!”

Armin’s voice is loud and clear, ringing like a bell. But Eren is too lost in his own thoughts to notice. He stares up at the cloudy sky, legs stretched out in front of him on the grass. It’s only when he hears the sound of someone running towards him that he turns his head to look. 

The smile on Armin’s face is like nothing Eren has seen before. His eyes are sparkling with excitement and he’s clutching a book close to his chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world. Armin reads books all the time and Eren has never seen the appeal of them. So this must be a really special book, he thinks. Something important that Armin wants to show him.

“There you are!” Armin exclaims, giddy and breathless. He must have been running for a while.

“What’s up, Armin?” asks Eren.

“This…” Armin holds the book right in front of Eren’s face, “My grandpa had it hidden away. It’s a book about the outside world!”

Eren’s eyebrows pinch together suspiciously. “A book about the outside world?” he echoes. When Armin nods eagerly, he continues, “That’s illegal! If you get caught-”

“This is much more important than that!” Armin interrupts him. Eren has never heard him sound so enthusiastic before, never seen him so bright-eyed and full of wonder. “This book says that most of the world is covered by water called the ‘sea’! And the ‘sea’ is all saltwater!”

Eren stares at him, incredulous. “_Salt_? You’re lying! There’s no way… Salt is like a treasure, the merchants would have already got it all out.”

“No, that’s the thing! The ‘sea’ is so huge that it can’t be depleted.”

Sometimes Eren wishes Armin wouldn’t use such big words like ‘depleted’ that he doesn’t understand.

“That’s just silly,” says Eren, smirking now. He thinks Armin must have been joking with him, as friends do, but… The light in Armin’s eyes is still there, and he can’t ignore it anymore. Something stirs inside Eren then, a feeling that gnaws at him. He wants to be a part of this.

“Show me,” Eren says, and Armin does.

::

“I’ll kill them all, kill them all…”

Eren has been repeating those words for days like a chant, and Armin is starting to get worried.

“Eren,” he says calmly, reaching out to place a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder. Eren flinches away quickly from him like his touch burns and Armin feels a pang in his heart of something he doesn’t yet understand. “You need to rest.”

“I don’t,” Eren says stubbornly, “I don’t need anything. I need to kill them.”

“But you can’t do that whilst you’re weak and tired!” Armin objects, “You’ve barely slept, and you keep avoiding food-”

“How am I supposed to go on with my life like nothing has happened?” Eren snaps at him now. It startles Armin, makes him recoil like a puppy that has been shouted at for the first time. “I can’t do it, Armin! I can’t do this anymore!”

“Eren,” Mikasa’s stern voice cuts through his yelling, “People are staring.”

“I don’t care if people are staring!” Eren all but shrieks. He sounds desperate now, his voice breaking, like he’s about to burst into tears. Armin gets ready for it, prepares for the heavy rain that will surely come after all the thunder and lightning. “This world is hell! It’s hell!”

Sure enough, he starts to cry. He sobs like Armin has never seen him sob before. His only instinct is to put his arms around Eren, hold him tight, stroke his hair. That’s what Eren would do for him. Mikasa just stands there watching the two of them with those dark, unwavering eyes, frozen in place. She’s always there to defend them both but seeing Eren cry puts her out of her comfort zone, like she doesn’t know how to help him.

“It’s okay, Eren,” Armin consoles his best friend, but he knows it isn’t, it really isn’t, none of this is okay, “I’ve got you.”

Eren’s breaths come in shallow, choked sobs. Those sounds break Armin’s heart and he feels them resonate through his bones, through his soul. Eren is hurting like he’s never hurt before. He clings onto Armin like he needs him to breathe.

“Don’t let go,” Eren pleads.

Armin holds him tighter. “I won’t.”

“Promise you won’t go.”

“I promise.”

:: 

Armin sits against the wall and he cries. He cries quietly, not wanting to be a burden, with gentle sniffles and pained little noises that come through his throat. He clings onto the hat his grandpa gave him, the only thing he has left. He presses his face into it like he’s hiding from the world. He feels lost and empty. It feels like something’s missing from him, a part of his heart that has been taken away.

At some point Eren sits down beside him, and even glancing out of the corner of his eye Armin can see the anger that’s consuming him, the hatred.

“Next year I’m joining the Cadets,” Eren says, and that’s that. There’s no changing Eren’s mind once he has an idea in his head. Besides, he was always going to join the Survey Corps anyway, but none of them thought it would be in these circumstances. The world seems different now, even though it’s the same as it’s always been.

“I need to become strong,” Eren explains, “So that I can fight back.”

Armin stares at him, feeling his hands start to tremble. There’s no way he could survive in the military alongside Eren. He can barely survive working out in the fields. But he looks back down at the hat, and he knows. He has to. His grandpa can’t have died for nothing - his parents too, and he still needs to explore the outside world with Eren. They always promised they would. He needs to be brave for once.

“I’ll come with you,” he says. The one thing he’s certain of is he wants to be by Eren’s side forever, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure they’re never apart. His dream can’t come true if Eren isn’t a part of it. That’s always been the case, ever since he showed him that book all those years ago. If he dies as a soldier then so be it. At least he will have devoted his life to something bigger, made some sort of change to help the future of mankind, no matter how insignificant his contribution is.

Eren seems shocked, like he wasn’t expecting Armin to say that. Like he expected him to just stand around working in the fields for the rest of his life. “You don’t have to-”

“I do!” Armin interrupts him.

He needs to do this. For himself more than anyone. Eren looks at him intently for a moment, and then he understands.

::

They’re laying in their bunks, snuggled up beside each other, bodies touching. It’s warm and cozy underneath the blankets. The barracks is a world away from the tents of the refugee camp they’ve been staying in for the past two years. Eren had almost forgotten what it felt like to be in a proper bed. But still, the bed means nothing to him. He’d put up with sleeping on the floor for the rest of his life if it meant he was next to Armin.

Beneath the covers, Eren finds Armin’s hand and gently takes hold of it. He runs his thumb over Armin’s soft skin and lets out a weary sigh. Armin squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“We’ll be okay,” he whispers into the darkness.

Eren nods. “I know.”

There’s a moment of silence, then, “Do you remember when I showed you that book?”

“Of course I do,” Eren replies, “How could I forget?”

“I hope one day things can go back to the way they were before all this happened.”

“Me too.”

“And that one day we’ll see the ocean together.”

Eren stays quiet. There’s still a part of him that dreams of seeing the ocean with Armin, but that dream seems hazy and far away now. He’s too full of anger to dream about such childish things anymore. But Armin still does, and Eren feels relieved by that. Even after everything Armin is still the same wide-eyed, curious boy who wants to explore the world. He keeps Eren grounded. He’s the one thing he has to hold onto in a world where nothing makes sense and everything is trying to sweep him off his feet.

“I love you,” Eren says, and he doesn’t know why but he feels compelled to say it. They used to tell each other than all the time back when they were children. But since Wall Maria fell it’s hardly been acknowledged out loud. Something changed back then, in the world and in the two of them.

“I love you too,” Armin says back, sincere. Some of the heaviness in Eren’s heart seems to float away. “Always.”

“Always,” Eren echoes, and he closes his eyes.

::

“Fine, you have a lot in common,” Jean admits, defeated. He knows better than to argue with Armin. “But you can’t deny you’re very different people.”

Armin smiles up at him. “No, I can’t. We _are_ different. I think that’s why we go so well together.”

“Like two sides of a coin. Can’t have one without the other.”

“Exactly.”

“But still,” says Jean, “It’s strange to me, how someone like you can be so close to someone like _Eren_.”

“The world is a very strange place.”


End file.
